What's The Scoop

Product #1
Folex Carpet Cleaner

If you have any kind of stain any where on your carpets, run as fast as you can to WalMart and pick up this product! My friend Mandy suggested it to me a few weeks ago. At any given time, there are what seems like a million stains on our carpets. From spills of apple juice to spots where someone (wonder who that could be) wiped their cheeto hands on the carpet, to this huge coffee stain we've had forever, you name it and its probably been spilled or ground in to our carpets. I steam clean them frequently but even that doesn't get out the tough stains. Folex does! The coffee stain we've had forever that hardly any cleaning product would touch is gone. And it cleaned up many of our other stains. It retails for around $4.99. You may be able to purchase it at other stores but I bought mine at WalMart. I've only used it directly on the carpet. The instructions state that it can be used in steam cleaners. I can't wait to try that. I'll let you know how that works. Thanks Mandy!

Product #2

This is not a product but I wanted to share just in case anyone is in need of this information. We have a cat (I am not a cat lover) and she peed under Avery's bed. Uugh! I had cleaned, steam cleaned, and ousted the area and could not get that smell out. I googled removing the smell of cat urine from carpets and found this concoction. I did it this weekend and the smell is gone! So, just in case you need it, here is the recipe...

Mix together 3 parts water to one part vinegar.
Saturate the area with this solution- allow to dry.
Sprinkle baking soda over the area.
Mix together 16 oz of 3% hydrogen peroxide and 1 tsp of dish washing liquid. Sprinkle over the entire area.
Allow to dry and vacuum up. If there is still some smell, repeat until the smell is gone.

It said to test in an area of your carpet to make sure it didn't bleach the carpet. I did not test because honestly, a bleach spot of carpet to me is better than a cat urine smell; however, it didn't bleach my carpet. I do have a very light beige carpet so I'm not sure how the solution would work on darker color carpets.

Pee Wee Soccer- Panda Style

On Saturday, Aidan had his very first experience with an organized sport. We signed him up for the Indoor Pee Wee Soccer league at the Y. Its very laid back and its only six weeks long. Avery played soccer one season and just didn't care for it. He is our baseball boy. Soccer just wasn't his thing. Aidan seemed to really enjoy his first soccer game and may be our soccer player. His little friend Adeline is on our team and her mom who is our good friend and neighbor is helping Jim coach. Jim is very thankful that Ms Ashley wanted to help coach, especially since Jim has never played soccer and Ashley has! :)
They were both awesome with the kiddos and everyone seemed to have fun. Aidan even scored a few goals. Go Pandas!!

Surrendering- Step One

Today, I let go of one of the duties that I have held tight for the thirteen years I have been married. Actually I guess if you really break it down, I have held tight to doing bills and balancing my accounts since I was old enough to have any kind of bank account. And I am a stickler for balancing to the penny. This has been a GREAT source of contention for my sweet hubby and me. Here I am a write everything down, balance to the penny, mega-saver and here he is a write it down when my wallet fills up- if I feel like it, never balance a checkbook because I know there is money in there, spend it like its your last day on Earth non-saver. :) That's what we were like when we first married.
We came from different backgrounds. My parents were both hard workers who didn't make a lot of money. We always had what we needed but not much beyond that. My parents never had credit cards and my daddy never bought anything he couldn't pay for in cash. That's the way I grew up. My mom was very frugal because she had to be. I learned my habits from them.
Jim grew up in a family where things were not nearly as tight. They were not wealthy but well off enough to have what they needed and then be able to buy the things they wanted. He learned his habits from his situation.
Right out of college, I worked at the Department of Children's Services investigating child abuse and neglect where the people receiving AFDC and food stamps made almost as much a month as I did. Jim was an engineer so right out of college he started with the State of North Carolina in their survey and design department. I don't have to tell you that starting salaries were very different between the two jobs. :) I had to keep on top of my money because I didn't have a lot of it and I had rent, car insurance, groceries, etc. Jim didn't feel that pinch because well like I said the difference in the two salaries was significant so he had money to play around with.
So, that's how we came together on the money issue when we got married. I have to say that after thirteen years, Jim has come much of the way over to my view of things financial. The rubber really hit the road when I decided to stay home after the birth of our first son. There would be no more extra to play around with. We were a one income household and we had to stay on our budget.
I have always done our bills, kept on top of savings, and any other accounts, 401k, etc that we have. I do our budget. If you had asked me a few weeks ago why, I would have said it was because Jim doesn't like to do it. Ask me now and I'll tell you its because I like to be in control and I don't feel like he can do it as well as me. Ouch. The fact is that Jim CAN do it as well as I can, in fact, he may be a lot better at it. He's an educated man who is loyal to his family, loves his God, and would of course manage our money accordingly. Well, focusing on my word for 2009, I am turning that over to him. I think he's wanted to do it for a while and it should have been his a long time ago.
We get paid on the 15th so yesterday was the first time in thirteen years that I didn't sit down at the computer to do our bills, etc. I gave him all the information, passed on the budget, showed him how I'd done things all these years. Is it making me a little crazy- YES! I have the urge to ask Jim a million and one questions, "Are you sure you...?" Not that we won't talk about things financial- of course we will. I just need to trust that he has it under control.
I'm not saying that any wife who does her family's finances needs to just hand it over. I'm saying for me I needed to. I wasn't doing our finances because I wanted to, I was doing them because I wanted control and because I didn't trust my husband to do them the "way I wanted them done." That was my issue and why I needed to surrender. So here we go.

In Case I Didn't Realize I Was Getting Older...

Do you ever have things happen and then all of a sudden you think, "Man, I'm getting old!" Here are just a few things that have occurred recently.

• I teach a 4 year old Sunday school class. They were having snack and asked to watch Veggie Tales. Just recently the church has installed new tvs. So I said, "Sorry guys there's no VCR hooked up- we can't watch a movie." Lots of blank stares. :)
• Almost every song I hear in JCPenney over the intercom I know the words to. The music of my younger years has now become elevator music!
• The fashions of my childhood (70's and 80's) are cycling back around! I promise you that in JCPenney on Saturday I saw black leggings paired with an oversized suit jacket (with shoulder pads!) on a mannequin. If the mannequin had blond hair, she'd have passed for Debbie Gibson.
• I watched the Golden Globe Awards and kept hearing myself say, "Wow, insert name of an older actor or actress here, is looking old."
• I still own cassette tapes. I even have a few 8 tracks! I have records too that Avery thought were some type of frisbee.

Jim turns 40 in a few weeks (and I'm not all that far behind him). We've been joking a lot about getting older. Each time he goes to visit his parents, they send back some of his childhood things. Last time he came back with the Evil Kenieval Scramble Van! It probably has lead paint on it. :) I'm expecting him to show up from a visit next with some lawn darts. Ahh the good ole' days.

Fear

We are struggling with this in my house. Avery used to be a good sleeper. Even from infancy, I could put him in his crib awake and he'd fall right to sleep. He'd sleep through the night. I don't remember exactly when we started having issues. It was probably around the time he was four. He started waking up at almost the same time every morning- 2am. His room was in the front part of the house so we wondered if it was because he would hear our neighbor's car coming in from the night shift. At that point, it really didn't seem to be about him being afraid. He would just wake up and for what ever reason not be able to get himself back to sleep.
That went away and he seemed to be sleeping fine for a while. Right after my mom passed away, he developed this intense fear of the dark. I wasn't sure if it was just developmental or if it had something to do with my mom's death. She lived with us while she was sick. Avery walked into her room that night to kiss her goodnight and in the morning she was gone. I wondered if he started associating darkness with death. He would not walk in to a dark room by himself and required a very bright night light to sleep in his room. He again began getting up in the middle of the night, several times a night.
I know what the experts say. I think in theory all of that advice from well known therapists and doctors is ideal- if we lived in a perfect world where every child was the same. But that's not reality. Avery was now in school and he'd be up four or five times sometimes till midnight. It was not a manipulation on his part. He was genuinely scared. He'd be shaking and when we would walk him back to his bed and sit with him, his eyes would dart around the room and he'd sit up in bed repeatedly thinking he saw something or heard something.
We were at the end of our rope. Sleep deprived, worried, and very frustrated. At some point we decided that he had to sleep. He had to go to school and could not function in that setting on four or less hours of sleep a night. We put his sleeping bag in our room and let him sleep there. He still does it from time to time.
I hear some gasps. Believe me- I know. Its a habit we started but sometimes you do what it takes and you go with what works. We've been working with him on the weekends, being more adamant about sleeping in his bed because he could sleep in the next day after the hours and hours of getting up and us walking him back. He's begged and cried and believe me if I didn't think he was legitimately scared to death, we would have been more forceful during the week. I remember laying in my bed as a little girl, hearing some strange noise and being scared out of my mind. I remember being very still thinking that if I didn't move, whatever boogeyman was lurking in my house wouldn't get me.
Last night we put him in his bed, we prayed with him as we've always done, kissed him and left him sobbing in his pillow. "I just can't do it.", he said. "I won't make it- I won't" He got up a couple of times and it was almost midnight before he fell asleep but he did it and he stayed there all night. Praise the Lord.
So, we had a celebration today. We made a brownie cake and celebrated Avery going to sleep and staying in bed. We made a HUGE deal and told him we understood how hard it was but that he did it and he was here with us in the morning.
Talking with friends and reading, I know that age wise its developmental. I think the intense fear is probably that and some issues about my mom's death combined. He hurdled a HUGE obstacle last night and I'm praying that tonight is a continuation.

My One Word for 2009

Last year my friend, Tracy from my MOPS group challenged us to pick one word to focus on throughout the year. My word for 2008 was forgiveness. I've discovered that this is a word that I need to focus on for the rest of my life and that sometimes forgiveness comes a day at a time- maybe even from moment to moment. I received some wonderful advice from friends, specifically to make the conscious decision to forgive each day I wake up and then letting God do the rest.
I have to say that I've struggled to narrow my focus this New Year. It's taken me some time to figure out what one word encompasses what I want to work toward. I've thrown around several and for me it all comes back to this one- surrender. Surrender can be a verb or a noun. In my case, I want it to be a very active verb. :) Websters defines surrender as follows: "to yield to the power, control, or possession of another upon compulsion or demand. To give up completely or agree to forgo especially in favor of another."
I would venture to say that most of us view surrender as a lack of action. When I first thought about it, the picture in my mind was of someone throwing up their hands and walking away. I think I used to feel like that's what it meant to give it to God. Ok God here's my problem- it's all you Big Man- I'm walking away. Yeah, I was wrong. That's not surrendering, its giving up and there is a HUGE difference.
I'll admit I have issues with the words "power", "control", "possession." And if those weren't enough, the synonym for surrender is submission. I am a control freak. I own that. You can ask my husband. I'm strong willed, do it on my own, never admit defeat, and never admit I'm wrong. I am passionate about being independent to a fault. Its this stubbornness, this fierce need to be self sufficient that has been the albatross in my relationship with the Lord. Its been the "thing" I have held on to that keeps me from that next level of relationship with Jesus. I want to be more intimate with my Savior.
I want to surrender every aspect of my life to Him. Looking back, its those times in my life when I yielded to Him completely that I was happiest, successful, and most at peace. I want there to be no worry, no doubt, and complete faith that whatever happens He's got it. He's got it because I'm where I should be because I've completely surrendered to His will- not mine.
Those are big goals, I know. I intend to break it down. My first focus of surrender is going to be in my marriage. My husband is a good Godly man and I haven't allowed him to be the spiritual leader, the head of our home that he needs to be. I've placed myself in that role because of my need to be "in control." So, I'm waving the white flag. First in my marriage and for those of you who know me, that may take me all year and then some, and then in other aspects of my life as well. I hope to give you guys some updates from time to time on my progress.
I encourage you to pick a word. You'll be surprised just how much you'll learn and how God will work on you through your focus.

This One's For You Mr. Dennis