Breaking Up is Hard To Do

Divorce is hard. I haven't experienced it first hand in my life but just know from others' experience the devastation it can bring for the husband and wife and for the children. I remember being so sad when my brother told us that he was leaving his wife. I had an awesome sister in law.
I think what was most sad about the situation is that my sister in law would have gone to any length to save her marriage. She wanted to work on the issues. She begged my brother to try counseling before giving up on their marriage. In the end, my brother refused, turned his back, and walked out on his wife and son. I don't pretend to know the intricacies that went on in their marriage. I realize I don't know the entire story. Its not my place to judge.
What I do know is that it broke my heart. Just the realization that we would never be a "family" in the sense that we had been. That my time spent with my nephew would most likely be a lot less because of simple logistics. I prayed frequently for my brother, for Vickie and Will. I prayed diligently up until the divorce was final that my brother's heart would be softened and that he would try to work things out.
I realize that not all marriages can be saved. I fully understand that. There are circumstances that cannot be changed. I just feel like my brother owed it to his wife and child and to his Lord to at least try. I'm not in his position and I haven't considered divorce but I would pray if that ever crossed my mind that my first inclination would be to seek God and then seek help. I have to believe that I would try everything out there to save that precious bond. Again, I know there are situations that cannot be worked out. And I know that one spouse can't save his/her marriage without the willingness of the other.
So, we've made it work. When my mom was living, we got to see Will quite frequently on the weekends that my brother had him because my brother was living with my mom. And we were always able to call Vickie who was always open to us coming to her house to visit or her and Will coming to our house. I am so very thankful for her attitude. So very thankful for her willingness to keep us connected. And I am thankful for those times that we get to visit with her and Will then and now.
Vickie and Will came to grill out with us last Saturday. It was a relaxed evening with the boys playing and Jim and I getting a chance to catch up with Vickie. I am amazed at how she handles being a single parent. She has had some tough things happen in the past few years with the loss of her mother, taking care of her father , and the loss of him too. You would never know what hardships she's been through. She is always positive and always has a smile on her face.
She will always be a part of my family. I love her like a sister. Thank you Vickie for loving us.

Mamma Mia

is Aidan's new favorite song. I tried to find a video from the movie that came out this summer but ended up having to use an actual ABBA video. All I can say is thank goodness music videos have come a long way!

The Cold Hard Truth

I try my hardest not to be in any pictures. I tell myself its just because I don't like to see myself in them. I never like my hair and will critique the crud out of what I'm wearing. I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to that. But, right here, right now I'm going to own why I don't like to be in pictures. I HATE the size I am now. HATE it. Here's the part where I would typically give you all the excuses as to why I'm the size I am. I'd tell you that I don't eat badly, that I work out, that my metabolism must have fallen through the floor with my last pregnancy. Oh, its just my baby weight.
Its true that I don't eat badly... until about 8pm. I can do so well the entire day and totally ruin it from 8pm to bedtime. Sometimes I'll go to bed early just so that I don't eat anything else. And I'm not hungry. I know its a habit and it can be broken. Truth is I just haven't been motivated to break it.
I work out... hit or miss 1 or 2 or three times a week. Its rare that I hit the three times. I tell myself I just don't have time. I've got children to take care of, laundry to do, school activities, baseball, soccer, church activities and the list goes on. But I have time to sit down and check my google reader, facebook, and e-mails for 30 minutes. Exercising is a habit. One that I haven't formed yet. Its a matter of priority and I just haven't been motivated to put losing weight above staying connected in the cyber world. And I have to be honest I hate to exercise. Its not fun to me. I wish it was. I wish I enjoyed running or aerobics. I just don't.
There is not a single thing wrong with my metabolism. I don't have any thyroid issues as much as I'd like to blame it on that. I'm certain my metabolism would get better if I would exercise more consistently.
And I can't say that I'm trying to lose my baby weight. I have to let that go. Aidan is 4 and I can no longer say this weight I have kept is baby weight. He was almost a 9lb baby for crying out loud!
I know that you should always do things for yourself. But for whatever reason, that just hasn't been enough to motivate me. I did however receive some motivation a few weeks ago. I got an e-mail from our class president about my 20 year high school reunion. Ok, I know you shouldn't be vain and typically I am not a vain person. Honestly its not really about vanity. Its more about me feeling comfortable in my own skin not just at my reunion but in my everyday life. I do want to be able to walk into my reunion 15 pounds lighter (I'd like to lose more than that but I'm being realistic). I want to walk in and be able to enjoy myself rather than just focusing the whole night on how much I hate my size.
I think this unhappiness with my body definitely spills over in to my every day life. So, I've always been a person who works better under pressure. If I have a deadline I'm more likely to meet it. On June 13, 2009 I will attend my high school reunion. From now on, I am going to change my habits, focusing on losing this weight and being the me I know again. Pray for me because I know me and it won't be easy. Especially pray for me between the hours of 8pm and bedtime. :) And I won't hold it against you if you see me out and come yank the Starbucks Mocha out of my hand.
I'm going to hold myself accountable on here. I won't tell you my weight because I can't bear to type that on here for the world to see but I will keep you informed of how much I've lost or (lets hope not) gained. Did I ask you to pray for me? :)

My King

I have seen this video a couple of times, most recently at the Women's Conference I attended this weekend at my church. Its powerful and I love how S. M. Lockeridge describes Jesus. You will have to look in the right hand column of my blog, scroll down and stop the music from playing before you play the video(unless you're using google reader).

Fun Times with Fallon the Flamingo

I'll fill you all in on Fallon the Flamingo later on. I am in the middle of a phenomenal women's conference and am about to head out the door early this morning. These pictures were just too funny not to post. Jim took the boys to the Sounds game last night and Fallon made the trip with them. I thought the message board mommies would like to see her in all her glory whooping it up for the Sounds! I'll tell you the story of how Jim ended up taking a pink flamingo to the Sounds game later! :)

The First Day Of 2nd Grade, Kung Fu Birthday, Its always Halloween, and Yoda's Groupies

We had a blast celebrating Aidan's birthday at Kids Party Jumps. The huge slide was the hit of the day and the face painter was awesome! It was a Kung Fu Panda blast! Thanks to everyone who came and partied with us!
Our friends the Smiths were out of town for Aidan's party so we celebrated early with them at Red Robin.

Aidan is enjoying his last few weeks before school starts. He loves the Smith girls!!

Its always Halloween at our house. :) May the force be with you.

And speaking of the force, Lori and Meredith are heading up the Yoda fan club. :) Love you girls, I do!

Two girls and a guy! Saundra, Erin, and Avery are rockin' out to Rock Band on the Wii. I missed getting a picture of Saundra rockin' out Wanted Dead Or Alive by Bon Jovi. She knows her Bon Jovi!

First day of second grade for my sweet Avery. To let you know how much he's grown, at the beginning of the summer I bought his a size 2 in tennis shoes. When we went to get some new shoes for school at the beginning of August I bought a size 4!

Things That Make You Go Hmmmm?

Aidan: Mommy, why did God put a line down our bottoms?
Me: (standing in the bathroom stall with him at Target wondering how to answer that) So the poop could come out. (If you have a better answer I'd love to hear it.)

I got excited at gas prices last week because they dropped below $3.50 a gallon.

Twelve check out lanes open at WalMart and I ALWAYS pick the one with the person who needs a price check.

I read that People magazine paid somewhere in the ballpark of 14 million dollars for pictures of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's twins. 14 million dollars!!

I'd love to see inside Aidan's little mind. He's always running around saying some random thing. My friend's husband picked up their kids at our house one afternoon and Aidan was running around shouting, "Bloody head! Bloody head!" That same friends husband was over with his family one evening and Aidan was running around screaming, "Whoopee Cushion! Whoopee Cushion!" I'm certain he's going, "Hmmmm..."

Laurence Fishburne is replacing William Petersen's Gil Grissom character on CSI. I like Laurence Fishburne but I just don't think it will be the same.

Me: (in a really annoyed voice) Avery, will you please pick up the toys when you are done playing with them? How many times have I asked you not to get something else out without picking up what you had out to begin with......
Avery: Mommy, I think you need some YOU time.

We have a company doing yard work for us. Not mowing or landscaping stuff but more like the things that a company like ChemLawn (its not them) would do. Our yard looks worse than when they started. We have more weeds than before and our lawn is dead. I asked Jim to call and cancel the service and to ask what they had been doing to the lawn. They gave him the spill about how it takes a year to see results (not true-we've had other services where we saw results on the second visit). What have they been doing to the yard? (because it certainly hasn't been spreading weed killer) Fertilizing- in the heat of the summer. What? So, we've been paying $47 a session for them to kill our lawn. :)

And last but not least... Why do we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway? Sorry- couldn't resist throwing that in!
Smile! Its Wednesday. We're halfway to the weekend!

Pineapple Angel Food Cake

This is a yummy dessert. Its quick, easy and healthy! Be sure to make the cake mix as directed on the box but use only a portion of the water suggested. The pineapple juice will make up the rest of the moisture. For anyone doing Weight Watchers, you can have a serving of this cake for only 3 points!

INGREDIENTS

• 1 (18.25 ounce) package angel food cake mix
• 1 (8 ounce) can crushed pineapple
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour a 9x13 inch pan.
2. In a large bowl, mix together the cake mix, pineapple and vanilla. Pour batter into prepared pan and bake for 35 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean. Allow to cool.

This Week In Review

Its been a hectic week. I think the first week of school is for everyone. Avery started 2nd grade on Monday at Station Camp Elementary. He is loving it which is a huge praise! He has come home every afternoon talking about how much he loves his teacher, Ms. Huey. He had an assignment where he had to choose three things from home that somehow describe who he is as a person. He then had to write a sentence about each one stating why he chose that particular item. He chose a baseball, a lego person, and a Bible. My heart just melted when he said he wanted to take a Bible. His sentence on why he chose the Bible, "I love Jesus and the Bible is God's word."
Wednesday was my 37th birthday. Our good friends and neighbors, Ashley and Jason kept our boys so that Jim and I could go eat. We went to Barfields in The Shoppes at Indian Lake. If you haven't been its definitely worth checking out. The food was good and the prices were very reasonable. It was nice to be able to sit and talk (and not cut anyone else's food up- ha!). We walked around the shops for a while and just enjoyed being together. Thanks Ashley and Jason! And thanks to our good friends Saundra and Tim, we will be doing that again tonight. Thank you guys!!!! Jim and I won't know what to do. We don't get out without the kids as much as we'd like to and here we are doing it twice in one week!
Aidan's birthday party is on Sunday afternoon so we are in the middle of getting ready for it. He is so super excited. He's never had a party away from the house before. Every day he wants me to tell him about 300 times who's coming! :)
And I just wanted to say a few words at the passing of a part of our family. Our big blow up water slide bit the dust this past weekend. We are so sad, especially the boys partly because I think they know we will not be getting another one (unless I find one on clearance). We have had a blast with this slide and it was a good summer activity that wore the boys out! We will definitely miss it.
I'm looking forward to the weekend and getting back into the routine of the school year a bit more. I'd say I'm looking forward to slowing down a bit but at this point I'm thinking that must not happen until your kids leave for college!

Blog Bling/Award- Share the Love!

I'd like to thank my dear friend Michelle for nominating me! And in keeping with sharing the love, I nominate Ashley, Amy L, Meredith, Mandy, Jennifer, Sarah A, and Sarah U.
There are some strings attached when accepting the award - post the logo to your blog, link to the nominator (that's me!) and then nominate up to 7 other brilliant bloggers (be sure to link to them, too!). Also, you might want to let them know they've been nominated!

In The Bag

Help me out here. Do you do goody bags for your kiddos birthday parties? Why or why not?
I decided not to do them for Aidan's party this time because early on I thought we were having it at the theater. Included in the theater party was a movie ticket, and kids combo with drink, popcorn, and skittles. Since then we've changed our plans to Kids Party Jumps (a play place with inflatable slides, obstacle courses, etc). I had decided that since I didn't already have goody bag items ready to go that I just wouldn't do them this time. Now I'm feeling bad about that. What do you think?

The Purse

I would be lost without mine. I think that's how many women feel. Jim always tells me I carry my whole life in there. We've been doing some deep cleaning today. I'm trying to de-clutter a bit. For some reason our tv armoire in the bedroom has become a catch all of sorts. As I was going through the shelves tossing what I could, I ran across my mom's purse. I suppose I didn't really "run across" it. I've known its been in there. I am a lot like my mother in that a purse to me is more functional than stylish. My mom had the same purses for years on end. She had probably had this brown leather one for at least five years.
I was able to spend weekend after weekend cleaning out her house. Going through old papers, clothes, photographs, and just about anything that had passed her and my dad's way over the span of their lives. It wasn't easy but I was able to do it. What I can't do is bring myself to go through her purse. Growing up my mom's purse was hers. When I say that I mean that it was the one thing we just were not allowed to freely go through. My mom was very particular about her purse and when something needed to be retrieved from it, you might go get it for her but you would NEVER open it yourself.
Even when she became ill, even when she no longer had the use of her hands, she would ask for something from her purse and I would open it to get that particular item and leave the rest untouched. And a year and a half later, there her brown leather purse still sits untouched.
So I did it. I opened my mom's purse. Her drivers license, social security card, checkbook and register, pictures of the grandkids, kleenex, change purse- her things, her every day life. The checkbook register records the date when she lost the independence to write- October 2006. How difficult it was for my mom to have me write her checks but there is my handwriting in her check register. A list of my brothers and my contact numbers along with her sisters and brothers information was folded in the inside pocket on a paper titled "In case of Emergency."
All of these things are a symbol of her earthly life. Think about what these things mean to us. How much we would freak out if we lost our driver's license or checkbook. Then think about the fact that when we pass from this world, when Jesus comes to take our hand not one single thing has meaning. Nothing. Not our driver's license, not how much we have in our checking account, not even pictures of the grandkids. When that moment comes and it will come for all of us, the only thing that matters is Jesus.
So I put her checkbook, her change purse, and all of her other things back in her purse and I put it back in my armoire. These are her earthly things and I know in Heaven she needs nothing from this Earth. But for right now I need to hang on to her purse for a little longer and hold on to Jesus a little tighter. My prayer is that I try every day to lead my life placing meaning not on earthly things but on heavenly ones.

Four

My little man is four today! His entry into this world should have been an indication to us about his personality. We arrived at the hospital on Sunday, August 8th, 2004 at 10am and Aidan was born just an hour and 48 minutes later. He was a chunk weighing in at 8lbs, 12 ounces. You wouldn't know that by looking at his little skinny self today. Jim and I still wonder where he got the skinny genes. :) We also wonder how someone can come from the same two people yet be so different from his brother. He's talkative and loud. Thinks out of the box and is definitely not a rule follower. He would rather do what he wants and take the consequence for it later. He loves his brother fiercely and is passionately loyal. He's our free thinker and a huge risk taker with no regard to personal safety (we're working on that). Not any more patient than when he came into this world 4 years ago.

4 Things I Pray for Aidan
1. That he will always love his brother the way he does now.
2 That he will channel his free thinking, out of the box passion into a love for the Lord.
3. That he will always know he is unconditionally loved
4. That he makes it to 5 without too many trips to the ER. :)
Happy Birthday my little man!!

Who Says There's No Such Thing as a Free Lunch?

Hendersonville is exploding with growth. We have had so many new shops and restaurants open in the past year. Its nice to have a bigger selection to choose from when going out to eat. A while back I went online and signed up for the e-clubs to Qdoba, Mimi's Cafe, and Red Robin. Just for signing up, they e-mailed me welcome coupons and this morning I received coupons from all three for my birthday. Some of the coupons are for free food while others are a buy one get one at the same price kind of deal.
I will warn you not to sign up for Mimi's Cafe just yet if you are here in Hendersonville. I'm not sure when they are set to open. The coupons they send must be used within two weeks and of course my welcome coupon ran out in June.
Qdoba Mexican Grill
Just for signing up you will get a coupon for free chips and salsa.
For your birthday you will receive a free burrito or entree with the purchase of the same.
Red Robin
You will receive a $3 off any purchase coupon for signing up.
For your birthday you'll receive a coupon for a free burger.
Mimi's Cafe
You will receive a coupon for a free breakfast entree (not to exceed $10) for signing up.
For your birthday you will get a coupon for $10 off a $20 purchase.
Click the links above if you haven't already signed up. Each site has an E-club tab you can click on and enter your information.

Movies I Could Watch Again

I love a good movie. I'm not exclusive to just one genre. I love horror and psychological thrillers but also enjoy a good chick flick. There are very few movies I actually own because even if I really like a movie, chances are I'm not going to watch it again.
Here are some movies I never get tired of...

Steel Magnolias
I absolutely love this movie. I think I start crying earlier in the movie every time I watch it. Sally Field's speech standing at her daughters grave about how she can run 5 miles but her daughter can't and how she's so angry she just wants to hit somebody, etc just makes me bawl. And then as I'm crying like crazy, Olympia Dukakis' character adds some comic relief when she pushes Shirley Maclaine's character toward Sally and says hit her.

The Sixth Sense
Great thriller!! I could watch this movie many times because each time I see something I missed. I don't know that M. Night Shymalan will ever make another movie to eclipse this one.

The Little Mermaid
This is my favorite disney movie. I remember going to see it with Meredith in college and us being the only two in the theater without kids. :) I have it on VHS but sadly my two boys are just not interested.

Derailed
If you haven't seen this one its a must rent. Jennifer Aniston and Clive Owen do a great job in this film. Its very intense. I was on the edge of my seat through a lot of the movie. I was so into the characters and the action that my stomach hurt. It is R because of some violence and language.

In The Bedroom
Another must rent. Sissy Spacek and Tom Wilkinson give amazing performances in this heart wrenching story. It leaves you wondering what you would have done had you been in their shoes.

Beaches
What can I say, I like a good cry now and then. I love this story of friendship. I had the soundtrack on cassette!

There may be a few more that should be on this list but I'll stop there. I'd love to know some of your favorites.

We've Got Spirit- Yes We Do!

Hunters Lane Comprehensive High School - Home of the Warriors- Class of 1989!!!
Yes, that was 89. :) I just got an e-mail from one of our senior class officers and my twenty year high school reunion is scheduled for June 2009. 20 years people!!
I have been out of high school for almost 20 years. Wow- now that really puts things in to perspective. I have now been out of high school longer than it took me to complete elementary, middle and high school all together. I am that person, that thirty-something my friends and I would talk about and marvel at how OLD it is to be thirty. Well, to be truthful I'm now closer to forty (ahhh!).
I have to say that all in all I enjoyed high school. As I was reading the e-mail about our class reunion, the memories came flooding back. I know some of you may find this hard to believe but I was really nerdy in high school. :) I was very focused on my grades. There were a group of about 10 of us who were just compulsive about it. In the end tenths of points separated four of us from valedictorian.
I see all the high school movies and tv shows today and they all have such a separation of groups. Not that high school isn't like that but I have to say that even though I was very much a nerd, I had friends from all different groups.
I was very quiet (I know another shocker). I found out about halfway through high school that some people thought I was snobby. If you know me, you know that is way far from the truth. I also found out the reason was that in the hallway between classes, people would wave at me from across the hall and I wouldn't acknowledge them. I was blind people and it just wasn't cool back in my day to be sportin' glasses. So, I only wore my glasses when I absolutely had to in class.
It was the 80's and we all know what the hair looked like back in the day. BIG! The bigger the better and spiral perms were hot! If you haven't seen my hair let me fill you in. Its stick straight and very fine- not conducive to spiral perm and BIG. Did I let that get in my way of attempting big hair- of course not. I'll have to scan my senior picture in. I'm sure everyone could use a good laugh!
I remember being devastated because the boy I was going out with asked another girl to our junior prom. And didn't tell me. I had to find it out from our boss at Baskin Robbins! Our prom theme that year, along with many other high schools I'm certain, was "I've had The Time of My Life." Because nobody puts Baby in a corner. :) And our senior prom just got better with Debbie Gibson's "Lost In Your Eyes."
I remember my friend Jim (who is now an aeronautical engineer) in just utter dismay because his lab partner Amanda was the only person in physics to get the torque concept. (I told you I was nerdy.)
I remember my friend Robby trying to whisper to me in class that he had applied self tanner the night before and couldn't get the orange off his hands. About the time he was whispering it to me, our English teacher Ms Eldridge came by and because I kept asking him to repeat it (he was whispering very low), announced to the whole class what he had said. I don't think Robby ever turned around to tell me anything in her class again.
I remember really liking this guy in the ninth grade. My friend Melissa and I developed a code name for him so if our notes were ever intercepted, the secret would be safe and "Edgar" wouldn't know.
I remember cassette tapes, Friday Night Videos (what can I say- my dad wouldn't let us get cable for the longest), VHS, big hair, Dirty Dancing, Top Gun, and Bon Jovi. It was the 80's!!
But mostly I remember my friends, my really close friends and all of the good times we had. I still keep in touch with those people- Melissa, Dani, Jim, Amanda... I will be most excited to spend some time with them because even though we keep in touch, we hardly ever see each other. I'm also looking forward to catching up with some good friends I've lost touch with and just seeing everyone. I just pray the next twenty years pass a little slower.